crumbling? 

being knocked down on purpose, a sort of mental demolition? 

is there a plan involved with this, or is it happening haphazardly?

where's the rebuilding?  i know the materials are there, i can see them on the side of the site.

i hope someone takes charge soon

does that mean the switch is slowly starting to move back?  maybe just a tad.

so i used to hang with a bunch of guys.  after a while the little things (you know, personality quirks, styles, interests) just start to bug me, so i left.  not that i stopped considering them friends, but i couldn't hang out with them anymore.  probably an early example of said switch flipping.

time passes, and i start to hang with them again.  it starts okay, is fun for a bit (absence, you know, etc.).  can't spend a lot of time with them due to classes.  too old to be as much of the butterfly i was in my youth.  i get ambitious, having ideas for adventures to run.  but time prevents me from realizing all but one.  plus the dynamic is a bit different than from olden times.

but after a while, those little things (and some new ones) start to bug me.  no point in asking folks to change, as you're pretty set in your ways come your late 30s.  sometimes i bow out, making excuses.  sometimes it doesn't bug me, or i just wanted or needed the social interaction.  then the limit is reached, and PING goes the switch (see previous entry). 

do i no longer consider them friends?  no.  should i have been more touchy-feely and said, "hey, this bugs me, that bugs me, please change?"  dunno.  i think in this case maybe discretion and distancing was the better course of action, though.  maybe i just need time to mull things over.

poor clueless me did not think of rennet, or what it is.  today my wife remedied my ignorance, and a deep dark cloud descended over me.  would i have to give up my staple, my dear delicious cheese?  some searching online did give me an out (there are cheeses that could be considered vegetarian) but also more food for thought (so to speak, lol).  if the reason for my vegetarianism is to not support industrial and factory-farming techniques, then the size of the dairy and its operations must be considered.  and what about the source of cheese, milk?  in order for there to be milk, the cow/goat/whatever must breed.  what happens to the offspring?  you see where i'm going with this. 

suffice to say 1. i'll read my labels more closely for that R ingredient, and 2.  i'll continually wrestle with the milk issue.  this is what i get for trying to be ethical, eh?

list of vegetarian cheeses by brand, from joyousliving.com

"is cheese vegetarian?"  from serious eats

"cheeses - what to watch out for" from the karma-free cooking blog